So I know it's been almost 2 months and no update, I have been busy! Noah and I both started school at Cornerstone UMC last month, (he attending, I teaching) and it's been great! Courtney Cloud is his teacher and he LOVES him some CC so I am thrilled! It's been a huge adjustment, me back working, and even though it's only part time, it's very different!
Also, since it's been a year since we've been trying for baby #2, I went to see the wonderful Dr. Smith to see what's going on. After some poking and prodding and weird chart making, he decided I needed a little help, so I started taking Clomid this month. If it does what it's supposed to do, then great, I am thrilled. But as far as how it makes me feel, I am not a fan!!! Anyway, my struggle with all this is...am I being selfish? I have a wonderful, beautiful son, that I love more than anything in this world, why can't that be enough? Why do I still have this longing and aching for another child? Am I trying to fill the void that the baby I lost left? I've tried to tell myself that we can be a perfectly happy family of three, but then I remember how much I adored my sister and how happy we were to have each other as playmates and later on in life as best friends and I don't want Noah to not experience that. I know my Father has a plan for me, and maybe only one child is it, I just wish I KNEW. I want to wake up one morning and know that this is it and I need to move on. I don't do well with all the waiting and wondering. So please blogging friends, say a little prayer for us. Not that we get pregnant, that we will be able to hear God's voice telling us what we need to do, and the ability to really listen to Him. Love to all!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Jill, I have said many prayers for you. Just trust in Him; we cannot do this alone. I know everything will work out in your favor! Hope everything is going well. :)
Post a Comment