Mixed emotions...

...that's what I'm having these days. Bobby and I are trying to get pregnant again, we've been trying for some time now, and I've realized that maybe the reason I haven't is because I am so terrified. Terrified of losing another baby, terrified of actually having another baby, I'm scared of so many things. I'm afraid that I won't be able to be the mom to my next child that I was to Noah, devoting every minute of my day to them. How can I love another baby like I love that sweet boy? I know people do it all the time, I mean, hello, I am a second child and 99% of the time I felt like Mom and Dad loved me just as much as Elizabeth (really 100%, but I had to pick at Mom). But I don't know if I can, I just don't know if it's possible!
And now, there are so many things going on, on my street alone, that scare me to death. I can't imagine going through what Bryant and Courtney have gone through, losing sweet baby Nate before they ever really knew him and Guy and Emily...little Kathleen Bess coming 11 weeks early, when I was pregnant with Noah these things never really entered my mind.
I so want another baby, I want for Noah to grow up loving someone as much as I do my sister, but I can't let go of this fear. I have to just hand it over to the Lord, I know that's what I have to do, but sometimes I have a hard time doing that! I need to take a lesson from The Cloud's on how to do that, they are truly an inspiration and their faith has taught me so much.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Romans 15:13

Lovies!!

For some reason all of a sudden Noah and his blanky are inseparable!! He wants to drag it with him everywhere, but especially when he's tired!! And when he doesn't have his blanky to nap with...a Barbie Volvo stationwagon will do!!

Redneck pool!!

We had the "Wigglin Waterpillar" attached to the waterhose, and we have a pool just down the street, but for some reason my child wanted to play in the cooler!! And not an empty cooler, oh no, a cooler full of drinks!! Well, it was cute, so I had to snap a few photos!! ENJOY!

Our Friends!!

As most of my usual blog readers know, our friends, The Clouds lost sweet Baby Nate last week and I haven't posted anything about it until now because it's just been so unbelievable. I know our Lord has a reason and a plan for everything that happens, but as human beings, we struggle to understand it, and we may not ever find out the reason for things until that wonderful day when we get to meet our Heavenly Father face to face. I can't imagine what pain Courtney is feeling and I just want to hug her every second until she feels better! I guess that's just the Mama in me!! For those of you who haven't met Bryant and Courtney...boy are you missing out!! These 2 are awesome!! Bobby and I are so glad they are a part of our life and they have recently brought us into their church life, which we are so thankful for! They are so strong in their faith and I know they will come through this tragedy as stronger Christians. So please, all my blogging pals, continue to pray for this sweet family, pray that God will ease their pain swiftly. And y'all can keep up with them on CC's blog... http://www.thoughtsfromacloud.blogspot.com/